Seven years ago Pong Nan, a talented composer, songwriter and a Hong Kong pop-star crashed from PTSD (life long accumulation of trauma) during an album recording for Universal Music.  As a result he became unable to work and sing as well as sleep, eat, or exercise. For the following two years he explored help from top doctors as well as spiritual teachers and healers.  At one point under the care of the top Hong Kong psychiatrist, he ended up on 7 medications along with the diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. This doctor also told Pong that he would never go back to being creative again and that his only choice was to reconcile with this reality and learn to live a mediocre life. In the non medical world, the spiritual teacher he approached for help in healing proposed that all Pong's problems stemmed from his ego and from his passionate striving to be the very best as a performer and an artist.  If only Pong stopped being ambitious and dedicated his life contributing to charity instead, the spiritual teacher asserted, all his trauma somehow would be healed.  Basically both worlds - medicine and spirituality - were offering as a remedy "an ego death" to this man whose ultimate soul's mission is to inspire the world towards healing and transformation. 

Our journey towards recovery began five years ago. I received an email from Pong where he described practically all the symptoms that I list as services on my website in healing people back to wholeness from trauma, anxiety and panic attacks.  Ironically, seeing that emails came from a Chinese source,  I became alarmed that it was a spam and did not reply, until he called me to ask why I was not responding.  It was a truly serendipitous moment since for years before we met I kept having a vision of me working with a singer - I saw him standing on a stage at an outdoor concert performing to a large admiring crowd, as I was coaching him on how to masterfully hold his energy and his fans. 

Now Pong is back and with all his traumas healed,  his voice, his talents and his presence are more powerful than ever at a tumultuous time in Hong Kong where people are desperate for true inspiration and leadership. This is the second comeback song he wrote, sang and produced this year under his own label.  Named "Doctor I Ain’t Sick” , It is a powerful tribute to that very elite psychiatrist, who told him years ago that due to the diagnoses of mental illness, Pong would have to give up on his creative mission.   I invite you to celebrate Pong's amazing healing journey by sharing the song and his remarkable story of hope and perseverance.

Lyrics (English)

(Pong)

Doctor I ain’t sick, no strange or hidden illness

But you insist on curing me, like fortune telling, it’s killing me

I’m just angry not sick, you call this emotional illness

But not seeing the world’s sickness is a kind of crazy

(Pong)

Doctor I feel tired and dizzy lately

You wanna test my liver function

But you don’t care about the atmosphere outside

(Matt Force)

You’re sick, I’m sick, the whole world is sick

You are alive only when you are part of the turning toothed wheel

Swallow it in, speaking out, cry for help

Take it easy the doctor will do the trick

(Pong) 

I know drinking hurts the liver and the energy without you telling me

Digesting all sorts of news

I don’t need to drink 

wine, I’m already drinking in sadness

(Matt Force) 

Pop the pills pay the bill

There’s nothing new under the sun, tomorrow and today

that’s the deal

Nothing to be revealed

No surprises 

Everything as I expected

Your existence is for my treatment

(Pong) 

Doctor who would suddenly feel stuffy and congested

Throw around quotes, slap some labels, a man will become a god

If you are not rushing to give off medicine and take my money

Listen to me, my pressure level is gonna explode

(Pong)

Doctor I ain’t sick, no strange or hidden illness

But you insist on curing me, like it’s fortune telling, and it’s killing me

I’m just angry not sick, you call this emotional illness

But not seeing the world’s sickness is a kind of crazy

(Matt Force) 

Skyscrapers and ivory towers

Stone cold ideas hide sourness and sting

I clench my fist, aiming at the source of nonsense

But inevitably running into the unexpected at the end

And then there’s no and then

Pushed back, symbolically dead

Like witch hunt I’m outcasted and left in cold to starve

Seems near but far, on the other side

No matter how sad this desperation 

imma stay strong

(Pong) 

Why that when I tell the truth and piss someone off

Or blow the cover of a scandal

You all accused me of bipolar

Maybe I should just eat, 

sleep and drink

Numbness becomes elegance

Like aimlessly living is the most replenshing

 (Matt Force) 

Living in this place

Which form or shape is considered healthy

Living in this place

Which form or shape is considered healthy

When I’m living in this place

Empty labels makes one worry

Human beings like to divide and categorize

All truths and lies or the reasons behind

(Pong) 

Doctor I ain’t sick, no strange or hidden illness

You diagnose but don’t listen, 

as if there’s no matter of the heart under the sky

Flaunting your practice from high towers is a sickness itself

Making the society sick

You all don’t know your place

(Pong + Matt Force)

Doctor I ain’t sick

     Living in this place

      Which form or shape is considered healthy

Doctor I ain’t sick

      Living in this place

      Which form or shape is considered healthy

Who’s really the sick one 

      When I’m living in this place 

      Everything can make one worry

Doctor I ain’t sick

Everything & everything…

OP: Quiet Rebel (admin by Sony Music Publishing HK Ltd.) / Wildstyle Records (admin by Sony Music Publishing HK Ltd.) 

Composer: Pong Nan

Lyricist: Pong Nan

Rap lyricist: Matt Force

Produced by 勳 Steffunn & Pong Nan

Double Bass : Nelson Fung

Trumpet: Matt Force

Strings Arrangement, All Synth Programming and Editing: Edgar Hung

Drums: 勳 Steffunn

Electric Piano & Backing Vocals: Pong Nan

Mixing Engineer: 趙浩權

Recording Engineer: Kalung Ko

All recordings and mixing @ 117A Studio

Special Thanks to Tedman Lee

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@bluepongpong

@mattforce21